I was still in the same shock. I was shocked by her reaction, by her kiss. I was wondering what she was going through when she kissed me. It was obvious that she knew my desire to kiss. Did she think that I was getting excited again? Did she feel uncomfortable?
But her reaction was casual. She continued it when I stopped. I was wondering if she knew my state of mind but still encouraged it or it was just part of her affection towards me. I was confused.
Di – “It was the neighbor inviting us for their function tomorrow.”
Her words broke my thoughts. I turned towards her but my expression hadn’t changed much. She looked at me.
Di – “What happened! Are you alright?”
Me – “Yeah! I am.”
I was embarrassed after what happened. I thought it is better to leave than making things awkward.
Me – “Ok Di, I will take leave.”
Di – “Why? Do you have some appointments with your close friend?”
Me – “No. Come on. Mom and dad would be worrying about me”
Di – “As if you have come to visit some stranger. I will talk to them. Just shut up and stay tonight at home. I will leave you tomorrow morning and you can go out with your close friend.”
Me – “Stop it, Di. Ok. Let me call and inform mom about it.”
I did not want to stay. But after she insisted, it would create suspicion if I didn’t oblige. I briefly talked and informed mom about my stay. They were happy to let me stay, happy to know that their children are spending some time with each other after a long time.
Jiju joined us back after his short nap. We played cards that evening and then had dinner. We had a few chats till late and then we all got ready to sleep.
She changed to her nightwear, her usual tank top. She was arranging a bed for me when I moved towards the guest room.
She was in the same posture she used to be, back at our home. It started reminding me of my feelings on her. I was worried. I quickly turned back and waited outside.
Di – “How long were you waiting here?” (she asked as she was moving out of the room)
Me – “Just a couple of minutes.”
Di – “You should’ve come inside right.”
Me – “I just didn’t want to disturb you.”
Di – “You have become more formal these days!”
Me – “Our parents’ manners have started getting to me I guess.”
I laughed. She laughed back and kissed me on my forehead. She wished me good night and I wished her back before she moved back to their room. I lay down on the bed, wondering what happened throughout the day. I could feel her lips on mine even now. The feeling was fresh in my mind.
I knew the pumping in my heart when Juhi kissed me. But there was more to a kiss, which I could not discover until that evening. All these thoughts were disturbing me and I could not sleep. The time we spent together with Jiju in the evening distracted me to an extent.
But the time after we lie on the bed and before we go to sleep, that is quite dangerous. All the events of the day would hit your mind back even if you don’t want to. I went to the drawing-room and sat on the couch. The events from the course of the time in the noon played back in my mind.
I put on the TV and switched between channels seeking a distraction. Then on a particular channel, I saw a movie playing with two characters making out. My fingers paused, switching the channels involuntarily. The characters started with a hug followed by a few kisses on each others’ cheeks.
The kisses continued further towards all parts of their faces and stopped when their lips met each other. I don’t need to mention that was what happened that noon. Involuntarily I was imagining me and Di in their places. I was overwhelmed with the feelings I felt at that moment.
They continued the kiss on the lips, for a long time. The guy moved his hands all over her body and started pressing her waist. His hands moved down to her ass and squeezed her ass cheeks. Then she drew herself back and moved his hands to her belly.
She let her lower shirt open and allowed his hand to feel her skin. He brushed his fingers all around her waist and inserted his little finger inside her navel. She moaned but did not stop him. She let his hands move upwards, onto her breasts. He started feeling their weight in his hands.
Her breasts were hidden under her shirt, as her top buttons were not undone. But I could see her nipples poking her shirt. His fingers occasionally moving over them underneath her shirt. My member started raising. A new movie started playing in my mind.
I was imagining doing all this to Di, feeling her body, her ass cheeks, her soft waist, and plump breasts. She was in her saree she wore in the daytime. My hands were under her saree, over her blouse. My fingers caressing her cleavage while my palms rested on her breasts.
My hands pressed them gently and felt her nipples rising. My fingers encircled her nipples and stroked them slightly. Her saree’s end was disturbed by my fondling and in response, it helped me by lowering itself. She moved forward and pressed my head on her breasts.
My hands went down to my cock and started stroking it while my lips started feeling the pleasure of her boobs. I showered kisses all over her breasts, over her cleavage and started taking her nipples into my mouth, over her blouse. She stopped me, unhooked her blouse hooks one by one and then freed her breasts out of her bra.
I placed my head back on her now bare breasts. My mouth started tasting her bare nipples. My lips covered her tips and moved down to the base. I engulfed more of her breast and started sucking it. Her hands were over my head, pulling my hair up and pressing my head onto her.
We moved in rhythm and her hands covered my cock. She held it and felt it with her smooth palms. She loosened her saree and petticoat and guided my crotch towards her. It felt so good when it entered her gloriously soft valley. My precum started oozing out and I felt the pressure building up deep down.
I held her face and we kissed hard. I licked her tongue. She moved her hips to and fro, taking my cock all the way deep inside her. I wanted to hold longer, but my feelings dominated my determination. The dreamy feel of it, the smooth caresses.
Her soft skin over my body was good enough for my blood to boil faster. Hot cum thrust up, out my tiny hole and I could feel the heat surrounding my cock. A few more deep thrusts followed. Each thrust offering me the feel of my life.
All my veins responding to it, draining me out like never in my whole life, not even while I was masturbating. My eyes closed by itself and I lied down on the couch, unable to move. I woke up the next morning, with a blanket over me, properly lying on the couch. I felt sticky around my cock.
I raised my blanket and spotted a dark wet spot over my trousers, around my cock. I realized what must have happened. I cursed myself. I wondered how I had become so careless and shameless, imagining my sister. I was ashamed. Guilt started building up deep inside.
I looked to my right, towards the TV and it was put off. I did not remember switching it off. It must have been Di or Jiju. I wondered if they noticed anything.
I got up and moved to the washroom. I cleaned myself. I moved out and looked out for Di. I heard some clanking of bangles inside the kitchen. I moved to the kitchen and there she was, in her fresh new suit with wet hair. She must have had a shower a few minutes back. I was too ashamed to appreciate her beauty.
Me – “Good morning, Di.”
Di – “Oh! You got up. Good morning, dear.”
Me – “Di, I will leave now.”
Di – “Wait, I am preparing breakfast. Have it and go.”
I quickly moved to the dining table and waited there. She brought breakfast at the table after a while and served it on both of our plates. She sat at the table, opposite me, and started having it. I bent my head. I continued having my breakfast silently, avoiding any mentions of events that happened earlier.
Di – “So why were you sleeping on the couch?”
I was startled at her question. She put forward the one which I was trying to avoid all this time.
Me – “Oh, I was not feeling sleepy, and so I started watching TV. Not sure when did I drift into sleep.”
Di – “I saw what you were watching on TV.”
I looked at her in shock but she continued.
Di – “I cannot say I am too angry about it. But you should have been careful. I heard the noise of the TV in the middle of the night and came out to check it out. You were sleeping with your hand down, around your trouser zip and it was wet around there. What if your Jiju had seen it before me?”
She shocked me again. It explained why I was lying properly with a blanket on. But I was not sure how it all happened. It was all dreamy. I just had no answer to it. I kept my head down.
Me – “Sorry!” was the only word I could utter.
Di – “Don’t be sorry. But you should not let things go out of control. I had said this earlier to you as well.”
I just nodded.
Di – “By the way, why weren’t you able to sleep on the bed?”
Me – “Probably because it was a new place for me.”
Di – “You had no problems at new places we had been to earlier. What was troubling you last night?”
She was smart and she knew me for a long time. She was coming up, right to the point. It was hard to lie to her. But I knew she wouldn’t accept the truth. I kept calm again.
I raised my head and looked back at her with shock. My reaction answered her question.
Di – “So you were upset.”
I bent my head again unable to answer anything.
Di – “Are you still upset about it?”
I just nodded. She took a brief pause and then looked at me.
Di – “Hey! Look at me.”
I looked back at her slowly.
Di – “See… There is nothing wrong with a kiss. It was just a form of love, a way of expressing love.”
I continued to look at her with shock. I never expected these words from her.
Di – “I know siblings don’t kiss that way usually. But nothing is wrong as long as your intentions are good. I know your intentions were pure and affectionate. I know you might have got carried away a bit, but it was all part of the love we have towards each other. Now stop worrying about it.”
Her words did an effect on me. I was surprised to see her casual reaction to this in contrast to her reaction the other day. I could see a change in her attitude towards me. Before marriage, it was more like a ‘Tom and Jerry’ fight between us.
She was affectionate before marriage too. But it was limited and she did get angry at situations like these. However now, after her marriage, she has become more kind and understanding. But she only knew half. She wasn’t aware of what I was dreaming of. Only I was.
It made me ashamed even after her words reduced my guilt to some extent. I wanted to leave, to move out of all these thoughts and situations.
Me – “I will start to home di.”
Di – “Always hurrying to go home. I am allowing now only because of your ‘close’ friend”
Me – “I am not going to meet anyone today. I just had a few jobs at home.”
After a while, I started to move. She moved closer to me and hugged me. She raised her head and looked at me. She held my face and kissed me on my forehead.
Me – “Bye, Di. Love you.”
Di – “Love you too dear. Keep visiting and take care of mom and dad.”
Me – “I will.”
I was on the bike, on my way back home. I was looking at the road, but my mind was full of mixed feelings. It was guilt, love, lust, and uneasiness. I have never felt these many feelings at once ever in my life.
I moved back home and lay on my bed. I was tired, mentally. All these thoughts were troubling me and I was not able to think straight.
“Mannu… Mannu… Maanas,” low unclear whispers in the background.
Mom – “Hey Mannu, What happened?” (she held my shoulder and shook it)
Me – “Huh mom. What is it?”
Mom – “I’ve been talking to you for a couple of minutes. Where were you?”
Me – “I was just thinking about something.”
Mom – “Is everything alright?” (and she placed her palm on my forehead)
Mom – “Oh god, it’s hot. Seems like you have been hit with a fever.”
Me – “Fever! No, mom. It must be because of the sun out there. I am a bit tired. I will take rest for some time and I will be fine.”
Mom – “Ok, take rest. Let me check again at lunchtime.”
She set my pillow in position and I lied down. She covered me with my blanket and left the room, closing the door behind her. The mental stress I was having all this time helped my head feel heavy and I did not know when I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up around lunchtime, but I was unable to get up from the bed. I was feeling weak and it was painful when I tried to get up. I lied down for a couple of minutes. I gained strength and placed my leg on the floor. I got in great difficulty and tried to move towards the washroom.
I held the door, pulled it back, and walked in. I washed my face with cold water. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red. My skin felt warm. I moved out and my mom was looking for me already.
Mom – “How are you feeling now?”
Me – “I am feeling better mom. Just feeling weak a bit.”
She came to me and checked again by placing her palm over my neck.
Mom – “Oh god, your skin is burning. Lie down. I will call the doctor.”
She supported me till my bed and made me lie down and picked her mobile to call a doctor. The doctor arrived and confirmed that it was a psychogenic fever caused out of stress and fear. He suspected that work pressure at the office might have been the reason.
My mother believed it. I didn’t, as I knew what was the reason for my stress. He further warned me not to go to the office for at least a week and to avoid any stress-related activities during that time. My mom listened to it and nodded. I knew what I had to avoid. I thought I needed to get out of Di’s life.
With my current state of mind, it is more harmful to her than to myself or my health. She has a family now. The more I get close to her and the more my thoughts grow, the bigger the trouble will be for her. I did not want to be the cause of the trouble.
I took off from the office and started to take rest. My mom tried to call Di to inform her about me. I stopped her from doing so by saying that she would worry. I took rest for a couple of days and was feeling better. I was able to do things on my own.
But my mind was not completely back in control. Few thoughts here and there jumped in and out of my mind. I knew I needed a distraction. Office work was the only answer I found. I convinced my mom that I was alright and joined work the next day.
I reached out to our superiors and made sure I was assigned an assignment as soon as possible. I was working hard and it helped me in my distraction. I worked seriously on a couple of ad projects, over a month. I gained attention in that process.
My superiors were impressed with my performance and they asked me to attend a meeting with them. It was supposed to be a meeting which would include discussions of an ad project of a new client that we were going to take soon. No new joiners were given such a chance. I was happy and proud of myself.
I dressed up in my best formal attire, a light blue shirt, and dark blue trousers. I had a blazer on and tie as well. I arrived at the hotel on time. I joined my superiors. We all sat on a table in a banquet hall where many other aspiring ad agencies were present as well. There were several other clients along with them.
I just was observing my peers from other agencies. I was noticing their behavior and comparing myself with them to know if I am on the same page with them. I could see some guys talking to their clients and trying to impress them with their communication and marketing skills.
Amidst all those people, I saw another lady sitting and listening to the concepts their vendor was presenting. She was sitting 90 degrees from me and her loose hair covered her face partially. I felt that her face was familiar. She held her hair and drew it back. It was when I could see her completely. It was Di.
I was shocked. I was taking work as a reason to avoid her and there I was stuck in front of her because of the same work. I cursed all gods for taking their playful revenge on me. I excused myself to the washroom to escape from it. My superior allowed me asking me to be back soon.
I went to the washroom and tried to stay there for a long time. But I knew our clients would be arriving soon and I needed to go out. As expected, I received a call from my superior asking me to come back as our clients entered the hall. I gathered myself and walked out of the washroom.
I just pulled the door and walked towards our table. I walked around, avoiding her, not giving a chance for her to see me. I moved to our table and sat at an angle where she can’t see me. Our clients talked to us and our superiors discussed our proposed concepts with them.
They were happy with the concept and asked us to start working on it. My superior looked at me. I knew I had to work on it. I was more than happy to take it but my mind was not completely on it. Half my mind was struggling to check if Di found me.
After the meeting ended, we started moving out to the door of the hall again. I tried to use my project files as a barrier and walked, pretending to read those files seriously. As I was near the door, I hit someone and my files fell on the floor.
Me – “Sorry, Did I hurt you?” (and I raised my head as I asked it)
There she was, standing with her peculiar questioning face, with her hands folded. There was no point of escape now.
Me – “Hi Di, What are you doing here? What a coincidence!”
Di – “Stop acting, Manas.” (looking at me fiercely)
This is the end of this part and the story will be continued in the next one. Please share your feedback in the comments or mail to [email protected]